he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
