woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
