I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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