Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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