Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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