Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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