Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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