New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
