Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
