I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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