girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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