My nipple is on Facebook.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
