Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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