i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
