Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
