All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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