I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
