Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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