You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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