so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
home. puking in laundry basket.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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