She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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