apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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