what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
