i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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