I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
