He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
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I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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