Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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