whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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