It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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