so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
