my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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