Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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