i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
