just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
