I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
