If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
