I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He better not be in your backpack
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
