What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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