Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
