I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
