Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
