i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
