her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize