If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
