Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
