I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
