someone get that fucking seahorse.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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