Cold hands, warm shart.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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