Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
