when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
