Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
