it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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