There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
