i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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