It's a beautiful day for a hangover
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Come see our sink grown plant.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
