all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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