I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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