Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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