the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize