It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize