is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
